Longing

What would be like for you to find
that after such a long, long time
your heart is ready to trust
your soul is ready to be taken
your body is ready to feel those feelings of passion and belonging once again
Can you imagine placing your hand on the knob of that door unopened,
where once you locked away your dreams, fantasies and desires
where once you placed those flickering embers of your heart
until you could welcome their fires?
When you know that you are ready now to fill that space within
so that your long craving for being owned is finished
and your happiness can begin-
when you know that you have finally found someone whom you can give your body to
and give control of everything that you do till the time you start feeling those feelings all over again

The secret that everyone knows but no one tells you about fetlife

DISCLAIMER: I respect every sexuality and every orientation. But when it comes to choosing my own I will still choose my own!

One fine day you wake up and realize that the kink has gone missing in your life. So like the monkey who swings from rope to rope going particularly no where you wade through hundreds of emails of that dirty email account that was lying dormant for so many years. Finally you settle down on fetlife to renter the world of kink. You remember the glory days when you were in the center of it all holding swinger parties that everyone kinkster wanted to be part of. But past being past one needs to start all over again. So I try to connect to people and even try organizing an event which I think is my forte. So after few days of activity what is the result? Disappointing? Frustrating? Entertaining? ...YES all of this in different proportions but never REWARDING! Many of you will say that I am being judgmental but my point is that I logged on to fetlife not to make a point or be a part of crusade about alternate sexuality but I came to explore my own sexuality. And after all these days of exploration the following sums up my conquests

• 23 communications from sissy boys wanting to be used.
• 16 communication from men telling me that they are kinky and they want to have sex and if i can help them find females to have sex. From few lines of English to a single line "Wanna fuck a girl"
• One comment on my post to keep my sexuality to myself (I like and welcome these comments)
• One pm showing sympathy towards my loneliness ( I again appreciate the thoughtfulness though I am not lonely.
• *One paid escort who is smart enough to realize that there lies an opportunity here

Now whenever I login with a remote anticipation all i get to see is new set of pics of dicks hanging in profile pics of all those who sent me a pm. Does this sound familiar? When you see the icon at the top of the page saying 6 new messages and then you click with excitement and only to see a fresh set of dicks peeping in your face!

Any other time I would have thought that it would be a waste of time finding your own kink online but I thought maybe over the years the times have changed but ,,,,